Some more updates on the drama that is my life:

This past Saturday I did something pretty darn stupid that ended up costing me big. I met up with some church friends at the Brea Mall to carpool to another friend's house in Irvine to do some baking for gift baskets for the Church Inaugural Service the next day. Well, we were in a hurry and I didn't notice that the parking spot I was in (it was in the covered parking structure) wasn't a real parking space but instead was a flow-way. Hey, it was early, there were hardly any cars, all I saw were lines, and it was an honest mistake! I mean, if I think about it, there was a point where something didn't seem right, but like I said, we were in a hurry. Well... you guessed it folks, when I came back, the car wasn't there. Courtesy of the Brea Towing Company.

Aarrrrrgghhhhh.

Luckily, I was able to get it back that same day, so I didn't have to pay overnight fees. But this escapade set me back a hunner-fohty-dollahs.

Double-aarrrrrrggghhhhhhhh.

As I was sharing my fate with others, they laughed and told me their stories. There's a reason why towing is big business out there. But I do have to admit, this was completely due to my stupidity. Y'see, as I was pulling in, a thought ran through my head-- why is there an arrow on this parking spot?

Yes, yes, yes. Now shaddap. The worst part? Going home and having my mom tear me a new one. Y'see, since my car's registered under my dad's name, I couldn't go get it by myself. Sigh.

More later.

Hey, what's the late penalty for filing taxes? I finally filed my taxes (through free e-file through H&R Block) but it didn't get "officially" filed with the IRS until today. I mean, it's a tiny return. What more can they take out of it?

My visit with the dermatologist went okay. He was a bit condescending and I had to make sure he didn't just see me for five minutes. I mean, I've heard the spiel before. I made sure he understood that I tried a lot of things and he better be damn sure he's diagnosing me and not what statistically I'd be. But I made an appointment to see him again in two weeks, and if I have to pay the deductible again, then that's just gonna suck. I've already spent $50 this week for doctor's visits (PCP and dermatologist), and next week I'm seeing my PCP again for a physical, and the week after that will be the dermatologist again. Sigh. What I liked about Korean doctors was that they would "cook the books" so that we wouldn't have to pay the deductible. I mean, it's dishonest... but if I end up seeing this dermatologist every other week, then I'll be spending $50 a month on office visits alone.

On the job front, the comission is going so-so. I haven't had much time to work on it, but then, right now it's just brainstorming ideas for names. I think he basically wants to see which name can come up with the coolest logo. Well, I can't work on it until after my shift tonight, anyway.

It's weird, I used to look forward to working. In the beginning, at least. Then it got to be so-so, but otherwise okay. Now... well, it's weird, but the hours before I have to work, I just get this deep feeling of dread in my core. Kinda like when I was working for that collectibles company. You know that feeling when you just want to get out and you're just watching the clock going through the motions 'til time's up? Well, I was like that at that company. At my store? It's kinda like that, though we're much too busy to be able to watch the clock. But right when I first get on shift, I just feel this sense of being trapped. I guess being busy helps cuz right when I'm feeling the worst of it, that's when I get my break. I think what makes it less like that other job is that the interaction with the customers makes it so much better. I'm not just in my head the entire time. I don't have time to wallow in my sucky life.

(Okay, I gotta go, but one last thing I want to rant about relating to my doctor visit. He asked me what type of soap I was using. I told him it was this one that I bought from a cosmetics company that's suppose to be hydrating cuz it's made of olive oil and it's okay for sensitive skin. Well, he told me to stop using it. So now I feel like going to that store and slamming that expensive soap on their counter and demanding a refund, albeit a year later. It made me realize that we were duped. I wish I can sue them for false claims. They reassured me that all that stuff we bought was okay for sensitive skin. Stupid Koreans. Stupid sales people. That's why I never pressure anyone to buy more than they initially ask for at the store.)

Schedule this week:
Tue -- no school!, meeting up w/ friends
Wed -- 8:30 am to 4 pm, then hanging out w/ Robert
Thu -- no school!, doc appt
Fri -- 6:15 pm to 12:15 am
Sat -- morning hike w/ sister's fellowship
Sun -- church

I little more news on the job angst front. A church friend commissioned me to design a logo (well, design a logo after coming up with a name) for his company. In two weeks. If I can pull this off, it goes all to God. Another church friend told me he has contacts that could possibly get me a job doing graphic design in the technology field. Technically, it's not quite the job I want in not quite the field I want, but... it's better than where I'm at? I'm wondering if it would help me or hinder me, since the issue of schooling would figure into it. Urgh! (And why am I asking faceless internet voyeurs for career advice?)

I finally saw my doctor today (my new doctor... who I chose rather randomly off my insurance provider's website) and got a referral to see a dermatologist, whom I will see this Thursday. I mentioned how I used everything for my acne including Retin A and Accutane, but the last thing I used was Proactiv and that's when my skin problem got worse, meaning the acne was gone but so was the moisture. She said that she had patients who came in using Proactiv with worse problems. Well, it's a crapshoot, I guess. It works for a lot of people, but not all of them.

She also said something else, but before I go on with my story, this is a warning that what I'm about to share is of the female persuasion and therefore, if you feel like it will be too much information and you'd be uncomfortable knowing this about me, then stop reading. (Hey, I'm not uncomfortable sharing. It's all medical.)



Anyway, so we're going through the list of medical history stuff, and she asks me if I'm sexually active and I reply no, and she asks me if I'm a virgin and I say yes. Then I launch into my story of how I've been menstruating now for fourteen years and my periods are still irregular and coming every 3 to 4 months though it was 7 months before my last one. Well she says that next week we can do a complete physical including a pap smear (and possibly an ultrasound to check out my ovaries) but since I'm a virgin we should take care to preserve the membrane.

Yep. The membrane. Y'see, my doctor is Pakistani, and I realized that that is a big thing in her culture. One of the big thing among middle-eastern girls is the hymen-repair surgery. Anyway, I just laughed and told her I didn't care about that and that I just wanted to make sure I'm healthy. Anyway, I found that funny. I mean, I suppose being able to bleed on your wedding night is... nice... I guess, but the whole saving-yourself-for-marriage thing is more a heart issue than a physical one. Besides, I've been using tampons for years. Even if I've got barely any membrane left, that doesn't mean I'm not a virgin.

Anyway, it's about time I see a doctor about my womanly problems. Every time I share about my irregular schedule, most people are rather alarmed. I even posted about it on WebMD and the nurse replied that it's not normal (though perfectly alright). A part of me's kinda worried that maybe there's a problem there that's been festering for a decade.

Eh. My school's having an Open House that would've been nice to go to on Friday, but I'm not quite willing to give up a 6.75 hr shift. Erg.

So what am I doing up 'til 4 am on a school night? Stupid homework. Well, it's done. (They better not trash it!) But the worst part? I didn't do the homework for the other class! Argh! Sigh, well, I get a half-hour break between classes.

It felt really good to have someone else be frustrated with our store as much as me. It's been getting busy lately (I think maybe due to the time change cuz there seems to be more people out), and every time I've closed we've been busy right up to closing time. In fact, we had to kick people out. Good for business, I guess, but that just means that it takes us longer to clean up afterwards. So the lead I closed with tonight and last Sunday was the same lead, and she was just promoted not too long ago. But they've been totally on her case cuz of the hour overages. And the reason why? Cuz management gets a bonus for not going over too many hours. (For those of you that don't know what "hours" are, basically, there's some formula to figure out how many people were needed to work however many hours that day based on that day's sales. So when it's slow, the leads are supposed to send us home early. Well, you can see what the problem is. Slow times come in spurts. You can't have extra people work in 15-min shifts.)

My manager's trying to get everyone to "take ownership of the store." Meaning, we should want to work as hard as we can as fast as we can to make our store the best store in the world. But it's hard to take ownership of a store when you don't get any benefits from working harder. I worked my @$$ off and didn't get a raise, they cut my hours, and we had fewer people working when it was busy. And what do we get for it? More tips? Hah! More wages? Double-hah! We get a promise of a pizza party for good mystery shopper reports. Ooooooh. A pizza party. Like that'll pay my bills. There's a reason why a lot of companies offer profit-sharing. But since we don't see any of the manager's bonuses, I don't see any logical reason to work any harder. I mean, if they were at least honest and admit that they need the money and could we please help 'em out, well, that I can at least respect. None of this phony-baloney "we're in this together" crap.

(On a side note, Starbucks does offer stock grants, but that's dependent on the successes of the company as a whole. And it's a pretty rich company. I doubt our store makes a dent in their total profits.)

Thanks for commenting, everybody. I think that was a pretty heady question, and probably not a good one to post on my blog. I guess I just wanted other people's thoughts on the idea. I'll go into more detail in a bit, but I have another question to pose to y'all:

What is the correct way to wear a pashmina? Over the shoulders or not? The one I have is 100% rayon and therefore wrinkles easily, but is it supposed to be wrinkled to begin with?

I get in these funks about my career every now and then, though more now than ever. I think it was spurned on by a lot of things, one being the recent drama at work. Then, at a recent meeting for work, I wore my KCPC sweatshirt (the one that says Berkeley on it). Most of the people there haven't seen me in regular clothes (meaning, not the standard dress code) so one of the guys started calling me "Berk." It was cute. Anyway, one of the leads (the one I'm not too crazy about, I might even go as far as to call her a b---h but that would be an insult to female dogs) asked me, "So why'd you leave Berkeley?" My answer was, "Cuz I graduated." Which was shortly followed by, "You graduated from Berkeley and you work here?" I just replied, "Oh, I majored in art." That'll get the laughs. But on the inside I was cringing.

I guess my original thinking was that Starbucks would be a temporary stopover on my career path. But more and more I realize that that might not be the case. I think it's almost a crutch. It would be different if I was on a clear-set path and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. But right now I don't have set goals, just dreams, and I'm thinking more and more as long as I stay in Chino doing what I'm doing, then I'll get too comfortable in my misery. But on the other hand, I'm also realizing that it would take a looot of money to move out.... Perhaps I'll do something crazy and start commuting every day to LA? I mean, I gotta get some sort of internship and that might not coincide with my cozy 2-day school week. Oh well....

My schedule for rest of week:
Tue -- school
Wed -- 6:30 to 10:45 pm
Thu -- school
Fri -- 1:00 to 8:15 pm
Sat -- 5:00 pm to 12:15 am
Sun -- Happy Easter!