I went to a women's seminar today with some fellow Pillar Bible Church sisters. It was really good. It was called "Idols of the Heart -- Learning to Long for God Alone" and the speaker was Elyse Fitzpatrick, who has written several books. It was eye-opening. I didn't think I was being idolatrous with my desire for a career, but it was, since I desired it more than desiring to know God. Is God's loving kindness worth more than life? Well, if a gunman came up to you and said, "Deny Christ, or I will kill you." Well, most Christians will refuse and die. But rarely is temptation that obvious or drastic. But when I'm facing my dwindling bank account, parental pressure (to get any job even if I don't like it as long as it makes a lot of money), and the general suckiness of being unemployed, can I say, "God's loving kindness is enough?" Well, truthfully, no, I can't. I wish I could, and I'm praying that I could, but at this moment, I don't think I can say it.

With that, I'm worried about the pending war with Iraq. I really wish we don't have to go to war. But I also know that Saddam Hussein needs to be deposed. And I'm not sure how we're going to do that without war. If called to go to war, could I do it? I don't know. I could say for a just war I could, but there's no such thing.

Feel free to drop me a line regarding these thoughts. My e-mail addy is on the left.