Dang, nothing like a serious post to stop the comments dead on their tracks. Thanks to my sis, since she seems to be on the only one brave enough to comment!

Okay, on to the rest of my life. I totally became a stressball last night, and after much consoling by the very-tired Whateley, he decided to take over wedding prep, since right now, I'm too stressed out about getting a job. I don't know how long that will last, since as much as I hate organizing something, I'm still a girl and Whateley is still a guy, and I have to make sure we don't end up saying our vows on the bridge of the starship Enterprise. (I've already vetoed that idea, though I did say that if we can afford it (cuz it's still expensive for a cheesy wedding there) we'll do it for our anniversary. I say the 10th, he's thinking 1st. Oh bother.)

Wow, all those parenthesis. What a nice segue for what I've been doing the past few days! Well, currently I'm trying to get a job at a major VFX studio (I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say, but I don't want this blog somehow getting be fired before I'm even hired), and it's not the tracking job I originally tried for... well, it's a long story, but basically, they didn't have openings in that area, but they did have openings for a render watcher. Anyway, it's a techie job that involves scripting, so over the weekend, I read two books on Perl, and I just spent today and last night (with a good chunk of time inbetween to read Waiter Rant) writing the scripts and hoping against hope that they work when the lady runs them on their machine. The problem? They're using Linux. Do I have Linux? No. And when you Google "free linux shell accounts" you get a thousand links, of which 99% are either not free, doesn't exist, not offering any more accounts, require a "donation", or else you have to send them a loving e-mail kissing their butt about why they should give you an account. So after hours of searching, I gave up and just tried the stuff out on my computer. It wouldn't be a problem if all I was doing was manipulating text files. But no, it involves manipulating directories and files, and basically, there's a fundamental difference in the way DOS handles files as opposed to Linux. Sigh. Well, it's over, I e-mailed my answers, and well... I'll keep y'all posted.

Man, I need a job so bad. I've sent in my reel to another studio, and if this job deal falls through, then I'm going to have to make another trek out to LA to drop off more reels. If any of you have an inkling of belief, please pray for me. Meanwhile, I don't have any insurance and my money's tight, so if I want to see a doctor, I'm going to have to go to a free clinic and wait all day. Yeah, I'll be doing that tomorrow, probably. Long story, but let's just say that I'm not feeling too great.

Where did the day go....

Is it wrong of me to want to get married in Vegas for convenience sake? Yeah, maybe not for the guests (I know, they'll have to get hotel reservations, time off, plane tickets, car rentals, etc) but it would be so much easier for me. I am really dreading the idea of having to coordinate and find the hall, catering, flowers, photography, etc. Well, the flowers I could get taken care of easily, but that's it. Everything else I would have to do the bride thing and look through books and magazines and call places and whatnot. And then I'd have to deal with various showers and wedding party stuff. And worst of all, I'd have to deal with the guest list. The funny thing is, it's not my parents' guest list that has me frightened (though it does give me the heebie jeebies a bit), but my own. I wouldn't know how to deal with people I know at school, people I knew from my old work, and worst off, I wouldn't know how to deal with people I know from church.

Here's the thing. I went to a church for over three years, and I do like the people there, and I was pretty friendly with them. But I have left that church, and the reasons for it was more than geography. Mainly, I was having a hard time dealing with the ultra-conservatism. I mean, when I started attending the church, it was the english-language ministry of a korean presbyterian church (which in itself is very conservative). Then the church left, formed its own identity, and then joined the Southern Baptists. Yeah, the denomination that likes to boast the membership of Jerry Falwell. Well, I was sort of stuck. On one hand, I liked the pastor, I liked the people, I respected the message, but on the other hand, I was having a hard time reconciling that my liberal-pragmatist beliefs were in their eyes a sin.

So I don't know how to deal with it. For one, it was the pastor's belief that it was a sin for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. Well, Whateley ain't a Christian. So... what's to do? I feel like a lesbian wanting to invite my redneck family to my alternative-wedding ceremony. On one hand I would like them to attend, on the other hand, I wouldn't want to if they didn't approve. I want all who attend to be happy for me, and not judge me, definitely not condemn me, and I have this weird desire for everyone's approval. It's not healthy. If I was stronger, I would just invite them, damn the consequences. I'm not ashamed of myself or my relationship with Whateley. But... but I'm not strong. Less than I'm willing to admit.

It's easier to just have a wedding in Vegas and not invite everyone I know, under the excuse that it's just too far away.

Hey, I just bared my soul here. Go easy on me in the comments.

Whateley wants to share the story of his life and his horrible, fracked up childhood. But he wants to post it as a comment. So, Whateley, here you go, a brand new post so you can "comment" away.

So if you want to read the full down-and-dirty of Whateley and my relationship, then read the second comment of the previous post.

No new news except that I'm really lazy. Oh, but I'm fully unpacked now! Now I just have to train Whateley in keeping things neater. Our room is far too small to be leaving things lying about. And I shall probably have to do a closetectomy soon. I have far too many clothes that I do not wear. But they look pretty....

Oh, and in case you haven't guessed, I am back playing WoW and it is so evil. I'm trying really hard not to play all day.

Next step in Whateley-Artiste-Land? Well, besides planning (and paying for!) our wedding, I'm going to slowly introduce seafood into our cooking repertoire. It's a little like those allergy treatments (or developing an immunity to poison). You just gotta do it in ever so small incremental steps.J

Alright, I've already lost the bet that I couldn't work on my reel for six hours today (it'll be more like 5... or possibly 4), so I'm going to waste more time to share a story.

Before I begin, let me just say, Whateley and I are engaged!

We've been talking about getting married for the past six months. It came about during our Vegas trip this past summer when our friends eloped at the last minute. Whateley and I got to talking, and we decided that we would get married the next year. Anyway, we had a sorta date and no ring, so according to Dr. Laura, we weren't officially engaged. That and we hadn't come out to our parents either. Anyway, once that all occurred, we went looking for rings, which really consisted of me looking online for the type of ring I would like. Y'know what I discovered? Amazon.com has a jewelry section, and they've got some pretty good deals! Apparently, I freaked Whateley out by "becoming a girl." I say that there's a girly-girl inside every tough cookie and nothing brings out the giggly girly-girl than choosing her engagement ring. (It's bee-yoo-ti-ful!)

So now the story of our official engagement. Last Wednesday, Whateley found out that he put the wrong address when he ordered the ring, and he went to pick it up from the FedEx office himself. I was asleep so he needn't have worried, but he basically came up with an excuse that he was "out fetching boba." Okay... that was slightly suspicious but I figured he had a craving. That and I was still half-asleep so I just bought it. Anyway, so once I was awake, Whateley says, "We should go out to dinner tonight." That was slightly suspicious since he rarely makes plans for dinner so early in the day. Anyway, I said, "Sure, but I was thinking we could go to Santa Monica so I could go pick up my bike." Well, his gears started rolling and he figured he had to get me to the pier. So he said, "Hey, could we go to the Promenade? I want to check out Puzzle Zoo again." Well, I remember how he liked that store, so I, again, thought nothing of it.

Anyway, we're at the Promenade, we go through Puzzle Zoo, and then he says, "We should go to the pier." I reply, "I think they're closed." He said, "No, I think I saw the ferris wheel lit up." Anyway, we went there, walked around, the ferris wheel was lit up but the amusement park was closed. Anyway, we walk around the pier to a semi-secluded spot and he asks me, "Isn't this romantic?" My reply? "Well, I know it's suppose to be romantic, but it's not so much for me, because it's dirty, there are a lot of homeless people walking around, and it's getting cold. I think I'm definitely an indoor girl. I like the idea of nature, but in reality, I don't like being in nature. It's not what I consider romantic." Well, apparently, that crushed his heart a little, but hey, what did I know?

So he then says, "What, are you saying that if I pulled out a ring and proposed to you here, it wouldn't be romantic?"

I replied, "Well, it is nice, but it's not my ideal romantic spot."

Then Whateley pulls out a ring box and says, "Well then..." and then he gets down on one knee. At this point, I am in shock and my only response is, "Oh my God!"

It was a simple Will-You-Marry-Me and a simple Yes. Ah. Sigh.

Afterwards, Whateley admitted that this whole proposal business has been stressing him out forever, and especially that day, he was distracted all day. I noticed, but didn't really think much of it. :)

Yay!