Done! I am Arwen. Well, sorta. I think I'll use that as the background of my website, once I get around to tooling around with it once again.

I'm just so tired. I miss having days where I have absolutely nothing to do. I mean, too many of those will drive you nuts, but it's good to have one of those once a week. Right now I go to school Tuesday/Thursday/Friday, and work Monday/Wednesday/Saturday (albeit for not too long), and there's church on Sunday. I'm just really getting sick of driving. Spring Break in two more weeks!

I would like to put more of my artwork on my website, but a lot of it is in the form of drawings now that I'd have to take a picture of. Not too many digital works. Animation class if fun, but the basics aren't that fun to watch. But basically, there's no easy way for me to take a VHS tape, digitize it, and then mess around with it on a computer to compress it. And even if I could, the quality would be so bad, that it wouldn't be worth it to watch a boring piece anyway.

Today on the way to school, I was stuck in really slow traffic. All these police cars kept going past us on the left shoulder, and finally, those police stopped traffic, and I was the third in line in my lane. I was thinking, oh great, there's a major accident on the other side but they're stopping traffic on this side too? Well, turns out, they had to stop both sides so a medical helicopter could land. I saw them load someone on a stretcher and then take off. I was wondering why they had to stop our side, too, but I think it was because they either didn't want people to rubberneck and possibly get into accidents, or else it was just in case the helicopter could crash. Fascinating, actually. I became less pissed about being held up in traffic. Of course, I tend to get non-chalant about being on time when it comes to class. I should stop that.

Our model today was someone we had before, i think. Only I think last time he wasn't nude. He was a really good model cuz he had a classic body. Really well defined muscles. Michaelangelesque.

Can somebody please shut these celebrities up??? And can we shut these people that respond to celebrities up??? Why do we give celebrities all this power? They're frickin' entertainers, people! Last I checked, very few of them are even qualified to talk about the war. So they can sing, dance, and recite lines. Umm... have they studied political science and public policy and world diplomacy? Most of them barely finished high school, much less college!

I could care less what these celebrities think about the war. I don't care what people were or were not wearing (accessory-wise) at the Oscars. Though I do have to say that I really liked Renee Zellwegger and Jennifer Gardner's dresses.

One thing I have been thinking about: I think I am a coward. I remember saying (jokingly) that if they ever drafted women, I would flee to Canada or even get myself a bun in the oven. Or use my friend's father's excuse when his number came up for Vietnam. He just complained and whined about migraines during boot camp 'til he got dismissed.

Anyway, I do have to admire enlisted soldiers (as well as police officers, fire-fighters, CIA agents, etc) that are willing to die doing their duty. I am such a wimp. I mean, I know that nobody wants to die, but I don't know if I'd be willing to die for my country. Or for anyone. I thank God I probably won't ever be asked to, but when the time comes, I think I'll turn tail and run away. Was Jesus afraid when he knew that he going to die for the sake of others? Was he afraid to die in general? I mean, at least he knew it was coming, he knew his purpose, and he knew what he was doing is his Father's will. But as the time of his crucifixion was approaching, did he dread the hour when he would breathe his last? (Well, until the resurrection, of course.)

When I come face-to-face with death, how will I react?

Here's something that a friend of mine said to me recently that got me thinking: many other countries are opposed to this war because they're saying that the US is a bully and they're acting like the world's police. But someone has to be the world's police, and since no one else is going to do it, the US will.

So should the US be the world's police? I mean, other countries have no problem asking the US for money or for humanitarian aid. But few countries ask for help to overthrow a corrupt government. I mean, duh, no government is going to ask for help to overthrow itself. But if a government has to be overthrown, whose job is it?

Wilson, during WWII, had this isolationist policy that hey, it's Europe's war, not ours. Until, of course, Japan joined in. So would things have been different if the US had joined in when Hitler invaded Poland? That was 1939, and the bombing of Pearl Harbor wasn't until 1941. Two years. What would the outcome have been?

So whose job is it to get rid of all those despots out there? Like I said before, I would really like someone to take out Kim Jong Il.

I think that the US has taken on this role mainly because no other country, other than Israel, is more hated than us. So we are a target (as Sept 11th showed). But why do they hate us so much? Cuz we're big and we throw our weight around? Cuz we're arrogant and rich and oblivious to the world's poverty? Cuz we act like the world's police?

Hmmm. Makes me wonder. No, I'm not calling for an isolationist policy. It's a global world, like it or not. But with the exception of oil and cheap labor, the US theoretically could become totally isolated and survive just fine.

On a side note, KFI talk radio is having a ball making fun of the protesters in LA. I can't blame them, some of these protesters have no clue! Reminds me of some Berkeleyites that protested for the sake of protesting, not knowing anything about what they're protesting about. I'm just glad I don't have to drive through Wilshire Blvd.

So... we're now at war. Sucks.

But I do support the troops out there, and I hope God will bring them ALL home safely. I can't relate, not having anyone close to me in the armed forces. I only hope that I can be a support for those that do. Hey, trust that God has it all under control.

Even in the midst of chaos, little things pop up that reminds us that God is looking out for us. My car is finally fixed... and I swear, you couldn't even tell that it was in that accident. The only reminder is some scratches along the side, and I think the power-steering is out. (Though that might be because I've gotten too used to driving my brother's brand-new Honda Accord. Though I am grateful for his generosity, it saddens me a bit to have to return it to him. It's such a nice car. Even going 80 feels like floating.)

Anyway, the God-is-Good part is... the garage gave us a HUGE discount. Well manageable. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

For those of you that can patronize this garage, it is the Inland Sun's Auto Center in Montclair, on Holt and Central. A nice Korean woman runs it (I think she took over from her husband) and she is really, really, really nice.

Anyway, here's to hoping that this war will be over SOON.

Here I go, ranting again: :)

To practice being "professional" we have to mount all our homework projects on illustrations boards AND she recommends printing out the stuff on glossy coated paper. Now... the illustration boards costs 2 bucks for a simple 18" x 24" and our next project requires bigger! And printing glossy? 65 cents at nice places, $1.79 at not-so-nice places. Per page! How many projects do we have? I haven't counted, but I think it's at least six.

Oh, and we should use spray mount, not glue, so that's another few dollars for a can of that stuff. I just spent a ton of money on drawing paper, animation paper, portfolio case, etc, etc. ARGHHHH!!!! Art is just too damn expensive.

THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

I had this huge blog entry, and it got erased!

I don't feel like typing it out twice, so I'll just leave a link: Crown Bible Study

Basically my rant was: why do Koreans have to look like they're frickin' rich? It's driving me nuts having to deal with this one stupid cultural fault at home!!!

I saw a woman on Korean TV buying a mink coat. It got me thinking about my views about fur, but before I do....

I've got nothing against vegetarians. I couldn't be one cuz I like eating meat too much, but I've got the utmost respect for them. I just don't like ones that get all righteous on me cuz I'm not one. I think vegetarianism is a good thing. It's healthier, it uses up less energy and resources, and Americans in general eat too much meat to begin with. And if their reason for going vegetarian is for that energy thing, then well, I guess they have a reason to be righteous, though I would question how they lead the rest of their lives. Anyway, if their reason for being vegetarian is because they "love animals" (which is a perfectly valid reason) then they have no right to be preachy. (Ahem, Miss P. Anderson-Rock-to-be) People that are vegetarian for "loving animals" should adjust that to "loving cute and/or furry animals." Would they object to wearing cotton cuz the cottom farmers spray for cotton weevils? Last I checked, even those pesky bugs were animals. How about crop plants that take over land that used to have native plants and animals? How can you love animals and not plants? Plants want to survive just as much as animals. They're just not cute and furry with cute and furry babies. And what about not wearing leather (again, Miss Pam) yet would wear pleather and other synthetic fibers? Nylon, polyester, and pleather come from plastic, which comes from oil. Oil spills have been devastating to animals. So has been oil fields.

So if you're a vegetarian cuz you love "cute and furry animals though you've probably never seen cows and pigs and chickens in real life" then hey, yay for you. Just don't go telling people that they're wrong for not thinking the same way. (BTW, the only reason I'd go vegetarian is if I have heart disease or something like that, or else if I was on a personal quest to use as little energy and resources as possible, though I'd probably have to get rid of my computer first, and you know that will never happen.)

Anyway, my views on fur? I think as long as they come from farmed animals (like cows and sheep) then it's ok. Well, it is somewhat wasteful of energy, but then we can start eating them too. Mink burgers, anyone? Hunting them for fur is wrong, I think, just because we're already doing enough crap to their habitat without having to add another predator to their list.

Tired, parents not home, home all alone with no food (well, nothing I feel like eating), and having to spend yet more money at K-Mart. Yeah, the K-Mart in Chino Hills is closing, so they've been having a sale the past couple of months. Today the prices got marked down even more, and it was mad. Sooo messy, it's like vultures coming in to peck at a dying beast.

Anyway, since I'm paying health fees at SMC, I might as well use it. I visited the school nurse last Thursday and she said that what I have is most likely not eczema but just really dry skin coupled with an allergic reaction. So she recommended using a non-soap cleanser (like Cetaphil), a hypo-allergenic non-alcoholic moisturizer at night (the greasy kind), and if I have to put on sunblock, to get one that's PABA-free. That and to stop the use of any make-up (though I don't think my lipstick and eye-liner will cause problems) and hot water when I wash my face. I hope it works. Anyway, all sales are final, so that just means that I've spent a lot of money at K-Mart getting soaps and other beauty products. Yech.

I now have 500 sheets of 12 field animation paper. Woah. I'm planning on taking Animation II next term, so I figure it's a worthwhile investment. Cartoon Colour Company is an interesting store. More more like a warehouse with an office storefront. Just go up to the lady and tell her what you want. No such thing as browsing.

I was reading my friend Erica's blog and it got me thinking. Most of us are opposed to the war in Iraq. But what if Bush had declared war on North Korea? How would we react? I mean, that's hitting really close to home. But there's no doubt about it, Kim Jong Il is evil and the North Korean people, our people, are suffering. And leaving them alone for the past 50 years hasn't helped matters. After all, it's only a cease-fire. The war never ended. I don't have relatives in ol' buk-han, but they say 10 million South Koreans do. And even if it means involving the South Korean army as well as the US Army and whoever else's army, and possibly having a huge bloodshed, I sort of think it's worth it to save the lives of our brethren. But then, maybe it'd be easier just to send a few assassins in and kill off the government. Do you realize that there are millions of people that were born, lived, and then died in indoctrination? We need to take down that government soon. Before the "great" leader decides to nuke the peninsula.

Our nude model today had an interesting body. She seemed rather young (perhaps early to mid thirties?) but she had a really huge butt! And lots of cellulite. It made for interesting drawing. Our focus today was "volume." Perhaps that's why the teacher got this model. Her boobs were really saggy, too. I just didn't think that someone so young could have a body like that. Maybe she a had couple of kids. Or a dozen. :)

I do have to admit, my current group of Kaplan kids are really cool. Perhaps it's because of the small size. Or that 3/4 of them go to the same school. I shared my stories of trying out for Jeopardy and stuff I did in high school. It wasn't until class was over that I realized that these kids are only 16 or 17. That means that I am seven years older than them! That's a lifetime in to them. Heck, to me too at this point. When I'm teaching, I feel like I'm still a teenager. And it was really cool to when they got something. (As opposed to just say "uh-huh" to get me to shut-up.)

I've been thinking more and more about teaching. I'm still going to pursue this art thing (3d animation thing?) but I am thinking more and more about teaching art. I think I would love to teach art in high school. I've thought about elementary school, but only upper-graders. But public schools are really suffering in the arts right now. Unless I teach at a private school. My cousin Jean goes to a private elementary school, and supposedly they have a really great arts program. And private schools are good in that you don't have to have a teaching credential to teach. But where ever I end up, I want to make sure I'm a professional artist first. So my SMC journeys still seem valid.

My aunt told me that I'm really good with kids. But like I said before, the only reason kids like me is that I actually pay attention to them. And that I'm willing to play like a kid with them. Kinda like how some dads play with their kids. And it can be fun, sometimes, but for the most part, it's not something that I want to do all the time. Like at church, all these girls want to hold and play with the two babies. But I don't, not really. They are really cute, but I just don't want to take care of them.

That's what really sucked about last Sunday. My aunt and uncle come over to go look at land with my parents (ugh, don't get me started on that) leaving me to baby-sit their kid, James. The 4-yr-old whom I recently helped out at his birthday party. Now, he's a cute kid, and I like spending time with him, but I really don't like having to take care of him. He's not old enough for us to "hang out." I have to look out for him. My aunt can call it "playing" all she wants, I'm still "baby-sitting." So I really don't like the job is thrust upon me without even asking me. And I know it'd be rude to correct her, but she basically wanted relief from care-taker duties so she dumped them on me. WITHOUT ASKING. Even at dinner that night (though they did treat) my uncle wanted James to sit next to me so that I can feed him and keep him occupied and make sure he doesn't get lost. At least he can sorta feed himself. But I had to get his utensils, arrange the bowls around him, and wrap the meat in ddukssam. Just so my aunt and uncle could eat normally and talk with my parents (and drink soju). Let's just say, it wasn't fun for me. I was trying to eat, too. (I'm glad at least that I didn't have to spoon-feed him.)

Y'know, thinking back, I remember whenever we went to someone's house, we'd just end up playing with our cousins. It made sense cuz we were all kids. I didn't think that them being older (by a bit) made them have to watch over us. For the most part I remember having fun. I was the youngest so I didn't do the things that my sister and female cousins did as well. Uncle Danny (the one that's only 9 yrs older than me) asked me if I remembered him baby-sitting us when we were little. I didn't think it was baby-sitting. After all, he had fun playing on our Nintendo. And I didn't have to have him escort me to the bathroom, or help me eat, or chase me around a restaurant. 'course, I was 6 or 7 at the time. I mean, things should get better once no more little babies start coming into our family. Though I think it's high time that I pass the buck to the younger kids. I've paid my dues. Now it's their turn.

It's been a mixed-up past few days. For the most part it's been crappy. I don't want to reveal too much here, but pretty much, my car no longer has a right side-view mirror. Among other things. And we have to spend a chunk of money to make the wheels go straight. *sigh. Yet, even amidst the crap of life, there are rays of sunshine. It is true, God doesn't let us endure more than we can bear. So a surprise piece of mail helped a lot with that chunk of money. (On my defense, it wasn't completely my fault. The other guy wasn't parked correctly.) Also, I didn't know that my brakes were just about gone. (No one told me brake pads last only about a year!) I wouldn't have known it if I didn't see a mechanic. I think they were exaggerating a bit, but one guy said it would have been metal-to-metal in an hour.

The highlight of my weekend: spending time with Erica. She took me out to a belated birthday dinner at McCormick & Schmick's. The food was pretty good, though I've tasted better for less. I guess we were paying for the ambience. 'course, it's closer to her birthday than mine, so I think we'll have another belated birthday thing for her later this month.

The rains produced some more lush greenery again. In the grand scheme of things, my life's crappiness doesn't compare to God's splendor.