Ooh, people are commenting! Thanks guys! Keep it up!

Dang, I could use a neck rub.

I wish there was a Photoshop for my face. The newest version (7.0) has a tool called "the healing brush" which is useful for getting rid of specks and dust on photos. I recently used it to erase the pimples on my face for a project. (Linky later) Wish I could do that for my real face.

Anyway, love the Santa Monica weather! Lack of bible study today enables me to just hang out, work on my animations, prepare my portfolio. It's almost sad that the semester's almost over and I won't be back 'til Fall. Oh well, summer projects await!

Yep, it was above a hundred, though by the time I left for work, it was 98. Speaking of which, the kids were more rowdy than usual. I had to even give this one boy a "U" for behavior. I'm guessing the heat was making them ornerier than usual. Heck, I felt more short-tempered. But I think that was due in part to them whining more than usual, less participation than usual, and finishing what I thought would take the whole time quicker so that we were left with a chunk of time in which they wanted to play games, only the game took on more vindictive turns. All due to the heat, I tell you!

Oh, in case you haven't noticed, I added a comment link to my blog now. I don't think there's really any need for it, but I guess it's for my ego. So use it, folks!!!

Oh, also, now that the temperatures are warm enough, we can start swimming. My first day of it today! Oh boy, I had lost so much stamina and technique. Well, what little there is. My mom's reverted back to bad stroke habits. Kaela, if you're reading this, you're needed back for coaching duties, stat!

Ugh. Santa Monica was beautifully cool and gray. In the Valleys? Forecasted in the 100's today. Ugh.

I can't help but notice -- the quality of my drawings is directly related to the quality of the models. And what affects quality? Mostly, what they're wearing. Well, that and the kind of poses they take. And as much as this martial artist guy sounds good, he's not. Blah. (We're taking a break and what am I doing? Blogging! Dang, no life!)

So... going back to my drooling... er, admiring of certain male models: I don't know if I admire those bodies because society told me they were ideal. Or else if it's biological. Or a matter of personal taste. I think it a bit of all three. I mean, mainly because society tells me to admire burly, hairy-chested men, and I don't. Maybe it's cuz I'm Asian. I don't know too many hairy-chested Asian men. It seems kinda gross to me, actually. But then, most women nowadays seem to prefer smooth-chested. I just keep reading about women drooling over hairy-chested men in romance novels. (Yes, I am admitting to reading smut... occasionally.)

My apologies to my male readers. (Or... is it giving you hints?)

Yet another observation:

In the Radio Disney version of Britney Spears' "Oops I Did It Again," they omitted the line, "I'm not that innocent."

Now... yeah, it's a bit risque, but I think it's mostly harmless. Then again, I haven't heard them air "Slave 4 U" so maybe they're just covering all their bases. Anyway, I thought that "innocent" line wasn't any worse than the rest of the lyrics. Or maybe they just didn't want to encourage people, esp little girls, to not want to be innocent and pure.

Eh.

I can't believe that people would take their elementary-school-aged kids (and younger) to see The Matrix Reloaded. I mean, for an R-rated movie, the sex scene was pretty graphic. There was a ton of violence. And yet, in the row ahead of us, there was a couple with their kid, who seemed no older than six, or even five. What is wrong with these people? What, they can't get a baby-sitter so they're going to expose their innocent children to graphic violence and sex (where they show pretty much everything!)?

As for the movie itself... it was interesting. Not as fun as the first mainly cuz it was a mind-trip and it felt real (like, what if the Matrix really existed?), but in this second one, it was about the war and the role of The One in the war. So it felt more like a sci-fi war movie. Though they did focus more on faith than regular sci-fi movies.

Anyway, one summer blockbuster down. More to go.

A few observations:

Muscular, tall men are a lot nicer to draw than pudgy, short ones. Duh, right? Is it really shallow to find tall, well-muscled, lean guys really attractive? (Meaning, finding them that aren't as unattractive.) I mean, it's only natural... I would think.

I mean, the range of faces on what is attractive is pretty wide, but for bodies? Well, maybe I'm acting like a guy (or else, every other girl out there is in denial), but when it comes to attractive bodies, there is pretty much a tight standard. I like that some artist models are also dancers. Actors come in dozens of different shapes, but dancers come in pretty much one kind. Niiiiiiiiiice. :) Okay, I'll stop drooling now.

Mmm... ate a lot today....

My summer work situation is so iffy... it's driving me nuts. I asked the director today if during the summer there's something I could do, but I don't think our neighborhood's too into tutors and summer classes. There aren't enough Asians to drive their kids to score 1600's or get straight A's. I don't get why any kid would voluntarily take math and reading and stuff like that over the summer, especially since for the same money you could go to a day camp for something fun. But eh, I know which side my bread's buttered.

I really hate the valley. It was too freakin' hot today.

I got my baby back. Too bad she hasn't been handled much since. (I'm... talking about my computer. Heh heh. I got a new hard drive and now it's faster! Yippee!)

I've got a long-weekend this weekend cuz school's out on Friday and work's closed on Monday. Sooooo... now what? If anything, I guess I can spend that time catching up on movies and stuff, but it's too easy to hole myself and withdraw from people. Sucky. I should go seek out other people who have the days off.

It's kinda funny, but I feel like I'm surrounded by Republicans. I think now more than ever I know I am a staunch... moderate. Cop-out? Perhaps. But liberals are too illogical and conservatives are too cold-hearted. I'm a pragmatist, and the only reason why I don't do more for politics is because it's too damn hard to keep up with the Bushes.

My mom's going crazy at home right now, cooking and whatnot. She tends to go overboard for guests. She has to constantly tell herself that not that many people are coming, and more than once I have to "veto" yet another dish she feels she has to make. There are 2 meat dishes, 2 fish dishes, about 3 vegetable dishes, fried jun, soup, and dduk and fruit for dessert. If I didn't have school today, I would have been frying from morning 'til evening. And there are only about nine people coming! It's chu-do-shik, the day to honor the death and life of my dad's grandfather. Well, at least we'll have some good food left over. :)

Here's a funny story: whenever my car radio blasts too much static, I reboot it. Yep, I turn it off, wait for the non-existent antenna to fold down, and then turn it on again. And it works!!! I just thought it was funny that my car radio needs a reboot now and then.

Another story, not for the feint-hearted males: I think my cycles are finally getting regular, after 12+ years. At least, I think it's regular. But the last few times have been the only times there wasn't 3 or 4 months in between. Maybe I've just been too stressed all those years. But it doesn't quite make sense since last year I wasn't all that stressed either. Well, except about worrying about my future. Is that it? Or maybe it's my lack of constant exposure to other female hormones. I've got no roommates and my mom's going through "the change." Whatever it is, I'm not sure if I like it any better or worse, since all in all the number of days of actual "event" is still the same. Ah well, better for my health, right? (I hope so, at least.)

Today's model was one we had before, but she wasn't nude then. She's an old woman, and just looking at her reminds me of how thin my grandmother got in the hospital when she was sick and dying. The only difference is that this woman was thin everywhere except for her hips. She was rather extremely pear-shaped.

Sometimes I feel stuck, like I'm running and running and going nowhere. I think that partially stems from other people in my life are out doing stuff. Well, at least working full-time, starting their careers, pursuing higher education, or even settling down with someone. Even though I'm only 24, I feel like I'm gonna blink, and suddenly I'm 30, the world has passed me by, and I'm exactly the same. I keep saying to myself, after this month, after this year, after I finish this.... I gotta slap myself and say, no, you're not stuck, you have goals, you have dreams, and most of all, you have faith that God is leading you somewhere. It's just hard to gauge the journey when the landscape's bleak.

Brace yourself, I've got a lot on my mind....

Last Friday I went to the Otis Art College senior show, and booooy. Well, I mean, there are some that sucked, some that were spectacular, and some were so-so... but more experienced (i.e. better) than me. Though with more training and experience, perhaps I can catch up. But here's what sucks: I gotta do more than be as good as everyone else. In order to succeed in this biz, I have to be better than the average-joe-digital-artist. And... well, I'm not sure if I can be that. I look around at SMC, and there are sooo many students, and so many of them want to do what I want to do. Let's just say that I'm feeling apprehensive. Does God intend me for success in this area?

On Mother's Day, we went over to my aunt's to have dinner with my grandparents and other relatives. We had salmon steaks and some halibut, and mmm mmmm mmmmm, that salmon was gooooood. All the food was really good. Luckily, the little cousins, when together, can now play together with very general supervision. So I wasn't roped into doing that. I did, however, help out my 4th grader cousin with her homework -- a poster advertising her favorite book. Well, she did wait until the last minute, and a lot of her drawings and letterings were... sloppy. But the way that my aunt just yelled at her for that. Dang. She got so pissed and basically took over and told her what to do. Like a really bossy art director. But all I could help but think is that she's only 9 years old, and yes, the quality of the work isn't as great as it could be, but as long as she was trying, and she was proud of her work, I figure to just let her be. My aunt could have just said, hey those letters are crooked, hey, that's hard to read, hey, that doesn't sound right, etc. But instead, she just berated her, and my cousin just shrank. My aunt's a fashion designer, so she's used to perfection in design and presentation, etc. But the way she was acting... boy, she was so cold.

I remember in elementary school people starting reports and other major projects the night before. I must admit that I've been guilty of that sometimes. But... well, you learn. Or you could be like me... so arrogant that I couldn't stand the thought of not having the best report, the best-looking project, etc. Then you learn to be more careful, to put more thought, to put more care into things. You learn to draw things in pencil first, and then when you're satisfied, you ink it in. You learn. I mean, I know my aunt wants my cousin to get a good grade, but if that's not her desire, then yelling at her isn't going to make her want it any more.

Well, that's what I think....

Field trip today! Broad Art Foundation, a cool place with some kooky works. If you want to visit, just call ahead. Fridays are open to anyone, the rest of the week, you have to be an educator. We spent about 2.5 hours drawing on the roof with a grand view of the city and beach. I had a hat, but dang it, my arms weren't covered, so I now have brown arms (on the top sides) and a slightly darker face/neck from the reflected light.

Summer is upon us? Soon? Ech. Hope it doesn't get too hot too soon.

Alright, I just had to upload a few Flash movies and fix one teeny weeny thing on my layout file, but my Flash site is back up!!!

Know what sucks? I now have 2 less hours of work each week. When I was only working 7 hours a week, that's a big chunk. Sucks. I need money.

OMG, that Buffy was extremely gratuitous! Dang! No wonder my guy friend really liked it!

I've become a rather Photoshop junkie, though due partially to my Dad. But it's fun. I don't know if I want to do it as a career, but considering that I don't find it boring, and sometimes I even find it enjoyable, it's a definite back-up if I don't end up at Pixar or PDI or even Sony.

It's kinda funny, but I'm even finding traditional animation fun. Cuz whatever you want, as long as you can draw it, it can happen. Not like 3D where it takes forever just to enable them to move their legs. But then, in-betweening sucks. I don't know which sucks more, in-betweening or 3D character set-up.

Umm... sorry, shop talk. Anyway, I'll put up my stuff on my website... when I get around to it.

Dang it! The last post didn't get posted nor published!

Snob-o-Meter
Apparently, I'm 41% snob, though I think their scale goes from 0% complete, disgusting slob, to 100% hoity-toity.

My work situation might get a bit more sucky in the coming weeks. I hope not.

So I came to school early in hopes of doing some extra credit work... and I forgot my book!!! Argh!!!

I was reading Christine's blog, and it was funny hearing about her being dependent on calculators. It reminds me how geeky I am cuz I like solving math problems for fun. Okay, okay, I'm not that geeky. Actually, I had to solve a lot of SAT math problems cuz of teaching for Kaplan and tutoring. But it's really cool to have a problem, a diagram, or some word problem, and you don't know how to start but you tinker around 'til you find the solution. And then you get this satisfying feeling of a job well done. Then my laundry piles and dust bunnies stand up and applaud.

I think it's something that's been a challenge to me, actually, cuz the way I approach a math problem isn't the same way that the kids do, and it's my job to help them solve the problem, not for me to act all geeky and go around yelling, "The answer is B!" Yeah, geeky. I'm so ashamed. Well, no, I'm not. I'm a geek and I'm proud of it!!!

On a side, note, would you, by small, yet faithful readership, prefer that I put a comment thing on this blog?

Today's model was fantastic!!! He's a guy named David, fabulously in shape, and able to hold the best poses! Really elongated and expressionistic. When the class passed a box to give him a "tip" (SMC, I guess, pays their models horribly) I even chipped in a buck. If you, my faithful readers (whom I count to be about 5 I guess) ever want to see these drawings, just come on over. One of these days I'm going to scan a lot of these drawings and put them on my website.

Oh, speaking of which, sorry that my new flash website is broken. I have to do some de-bugging and figure out why certain pages are not loading. But suffice it to say, you're not missing much. I'll post on here when it's updated.

I just finished watching Manor House on PBS. I really love those "House" series they've been having (1900 House, 1940's House, Frontier House) and I dare say that they've been getting bolder with each new series. (And that "dare say" just popped out cuz the show took place in Britain and everyone had thick accents.) Anyway, the premise of this show was that for three months, a family (the Oliff-Coopers) were going to live as a lord and lady of the manor, and then they'll have a dozen volunteers be the servants. The whole thing is about the dynamic and the strict social heirarchy that existed in Edwardian England, between the upper class, as well as inside a manor home. It was really fascinating. Since the family isn't the stars of the series, they're seen as basically what masters are: arrogant, demanding, clueless, and all-around bastards. And they're completely clueless to the fact that the servants feel that way about them. I thought it was funny. But then I felt sad for that family, cuz then in the real world, the viewers are going to hate them, and they were just behaving as anyone else would in their situation.

Anyway, soon the Colonial House project will start up soon (I know cuz I saw the audition notice on the website awhile back.), but we probably won't be able to see that one 'til next summer.