So I get these stupid pop-ups telling me that my computer is leaking my IP address and that I should go to their site to get a program to block these pop-ups. The funny thing is, the only pop-ups I get are ones advertising for anti-pop-up programs. Ech. Anybody know how to keep my IP from "leaking"?

I went to my church's graduation banquet tonight. Reminds me of the one I went to with them when I graduated from high school. Waaaay back in 1997. It's funny going back to the church I used to attend as a high schooler. And wow, it's already been seven months since I've been there. Wow. But I do really like it. Maybe it's cuz the church is small yet of mostly my age set, but I feel really at home there. Now if only I could not be late to those 9:15 am services. Sooooooo early!!!

Job sitch still sucks, though I do need to do more on my part. I can ask God all I want for a job, but if I don't go looking for one, then He's not just going to drop one in my lap. If only, eh? 4th of July camping trip next weekend! Fun! I just hope I won't get too dark and end up looking like a brown log with a bridesmaid dress on.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix... done!!! Well, that's one benefit to being jobless. Pleeeenty of time to read. Dang, 870 pages!

The book is so much more dark and gloomy than the previous books. In fact, it seems that the books just got progressively darker. If the next two books are darker than this book... well, 'tain't no guessing how kids will react. But they are so much more intelligent than other children's books. I mean, it's not like kids aren't used to death and violence. A lot of other children's books out there are just too hunky-dory. Yet... these books are scarier than the R. L. Stein "Goosebumps" series. Well, alright, those books were rather wimpy scary to begin with (and yes, I have read them, due to my then 12-yr-old cousin) but I do wonder if perhaps kids do need something more cotton candy to escape to. But then, Harry Potter's certainly less scary than fairy tales. :)

Comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cool, thanks guys!!! Oh, and thanks for your congrats! I mean, I don't think it's too difficult to get into the Academy, but hey, I did put a lot of work into that stupid portfolio, so why don't I just make myself feel better and say that it's tough to get in. :) (I think, from what I've gathered, as long as you've done a lot of figure drawing, you're in.)

Now, on to more important matters: I am not in a love crisis.

Okay, y'know how among friends (or at least among girl friends) we talk about who's cute and would you go out with him and other such nonsense? Well, I was doing that with you, my readership! I just mentioned a guy that I had met who I thought was cute. (And the more I type "cute" the more I sound like some junior high schoolgirl.) That whole thing about him wanting to be a missionary just made me think-- in general -- of how I would feel about marrying a missionary. Because if I do (and I'm not talking about this particular guy, just about missionary guys in general), then basically it would mean that I too would have to be a missionary and move out to the mission field and raise my kids out there, etc. And... then I was wondering about whether or not I would be willing to be a missionary if God led me to be one. Marrying one is definitely leading me to be one.

Anyway, I'm not sure how much choice I have in the matter of choosing a future mate. But if I did have some choice in it, because of my lack of willingness at the moment to be a missionary, I think I would choose not to hook up with one. But I believe that God does have a plan (at least for the major stuff like career and family) so if He chose a missionary husband for me... well, I can only wonder if I would submit to that decision. Comments?

BTW, did anybody read that bunny story that I put the link onto for June 21? I just found it to be really sad yet heartwarming. And it made me feel guilty for not taking care of my aunt's dog better (we're dog-sitting). And though I've never had a consistent pet (none lived longer than a few months with us) I've seen people that get really devoted to their pets. Anyway, it kinda made me wish I too had a pet that I could love like a kid. Though... maybe the others dying like that is telling me that I'm cursed. Or at least not a good pet-owner.

It sucks that in this world, beauty comes in expensive bottles, and so many people are buying it. I mean, unfortunately, in this world, for a woman to succeed, she needs to have certain standards of appearance. It's almost funny being looked at upon with pity by the girls at the make-up counter. At least I got a free eyebrow-shaping. I mean, I do wish that my skin would clear up (or at least stop itching), but it's been such a struggle most of my adolescent and post-adolescent life, that I almost think of it as my thorn in the side that God has put. Either that, or else He's telling me to take care of myself better. J

So there's this guy that I met, and I'm thinking, he's cute, he's Christian, I wonder.... But then I learn that he wants to be a missionary, and then I'm thinking, oh, that's bad. He loves the Lord too much. And then I stop myself. What? Love the Lord too much?!? Can that ever be possible? If anything, we don't love the Lord enough. And I'm automatically crossing him off my list cuz he wouldn't make a "proper" husband with the 9-to-5 job and 2.5 kids out in the suburbs with a white picket fence?

Okay, stop right there, there's nothing going on here. We're not dating, it's not even considered, we've only talked briefly, I don't want any gossip or speculation here. It's one of those things you think about when you're single, when you meet someone of the opposite gender, you size him/her up and wonder if this person might be The One. The One Who Will Stop the Machines and Win the War for Zion. Um... no.

Anyway, it was something that I hadn't thought too much about. Would I be willing to lead a "difficult" life if the Lord leads me to it? I mean, I'm somewhat of a coward, so I don't see myself going out in the world doing missions, but what if the husband God leads me to wants to do it? I really admire missionaries and those who forsake a comfortable life so that they can be in the trenches for God. This is too mind-boggling. Perhaps it's good that I'm single.

BTW, I am in the Academy! Woo-hoo! There are some conditions attached to it, but I hope that doesn't mean that I'm limited in the classes I can take. After all, I'm not there for a certificate. I'm there to gain job skills and improve my portfolio. I don't want to take some of those classes that they want me to take.

For those of you that are willing, could you pray for my job situation? Bills are mounting and I am desperate.

A bittersweet bunny story.

This is for you Christine, and any other bunny-lovers.

Acgh. My interview at Best Buy went well. I think. You never know. I had to "sell" the ball-point pen to the interviewer, and I thought I did a good enough job. I even made myself look goody-goody. Sigh. Here's hopin'.

Anyway, yay I'm in Purgatory! Too bad I don't really believe in Purgatory. I would rock as a Catholic.

Still no letter from the Academy. I got shoes and earrings today to complete my bridesmaid ensemble. My mom got her outfit, too. She's lookin' pretty good! However, it's only reminded me that I need to go down a dress size. Her size is just too close to mine. But all this shopping is only reminding me how much I need a job.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Sigh. I think the Academy is giving me trouble. I got a message from them yesterday with the portfolio committee's recommendation, which is to take more classes. I don't know if that means I'm in. I mean, I've already taken a ton of art classes (and perhaps my not submitting a transcript, which I couldn't have done in time, might have affected their view of me) and they want me to take more. Sigh. I mean, I took Advanced Figure in Motion this semester, and they want me to take the Beginning Figure in Motion class. Should my having taken the class and passing it with a good grade show that I don't need the beginning class???

But then, the lady said that it was recommended and not required... and basically I have to read through the letter which I'm sure explains it all better. I waited for the mail today before coming to school to see if the letter was there... and it wasn't. So, it'll most likely come tomorrow. I should hope. I just want to know, am I in or what? Cuz I can't take the advanced animation class unless I'm in. Sigh, sigh, siiiiiiiigh.

Hey Erica, you ain't the only unhappy one. Life just sucked last week, it kinda sucked the week before, and it's starting to suck this week. (And I hope you don't mind that I put a link to your blog.)

Gotta go.

Stupid blogger, not working....

Anyway, I'll elaborate when I get home what has been going on the past week. Right now I'm at school, just finished recording my final animation project to tape, which I couldn't do on Friday. And I had to wait 2 frickin' hours for someone to finish so I can record my dinky 8-second animation. Stupid.

Anyway, I wasn't expecting to stay at school this long. I was going to leave around 6:30 to avoid the traffic. Well, it's almost 8, so yeah, I've definitely avoided traffic. Stupid.

Wow, it's been awhile since I've stayed up 'til 8:30 in the morning. But that's when I went to bed this morning. I then got up at 12:30 to get ready and go to school. So why was I up so late? Putting together my portfolio. What made it take so long? Cuz I had the brilliant idea (given to me by a teacher, actually) to photocopy and shrink some of my drawings to fit them on one big sheet. But instead of using a photocopier, I used my dad's scanner, which does a pretty good reproduction. Anyway, here's the hard part: the scanner bed is only about 9 x 12, and many of my drawings are bigger than that. So what did I do? I scanned parts of it, and then cut them up and taped them together. Lame. But eh, what else am I going to do.

Luckily, everything was black and white, so I didn't use up the precious color ink. Yeeesssss, my preciousssssss. It truly is. We ran out of yellow awhile ago, so my magazine cover piece ended up with a purple model, and then a couple of days ago, while my dad fiddle with the cartridge, we lost the blue. So when he copied korean yellow pages cover to test it out... it came out looking pink. So he bought a new cartridge, and all I can think is, I think there is a lot more yellow in this world than red or blue. So it probably won't be long 'til we run out of yellow again. Argh! This is something to consider: when buying a printer, get one w/ separate color ink cartridges.

BTW, Craigslist rocks for selling stuff. At least, I hope my microwave got sold. It's such a pain dealing w/ the sale of stuff 400 miles away. I should have just sold it when I left, either to Christine or to someone else. Eh, what do I know, I thought I was just making things convenient. Who knew it wasn't?

I should be paying attention in class... and she did just show us how to do something nifty with Photoshop... but I can't help it. There's a reason why I chose the computer that's at the opposite corner of the room from the teacher's desk. :)

Do you read blogs of people you don't know? I can't help it and I've been reading some of the more famous ones, like Wil Wheaton dot net (WWDN), and the Baghdad Blogger (Where is Raed?), as well as one I just picked at random from the Blogs of Note list from Blogger, by this woman named Anne (AnneCentral). I just got caught up on "Where is Raed?" but that's only the past couple of months. It's really fascinating to read about the war from this Iraqi's point of view.

Oop... gotta go before the teacher catches me.

It sucks, but in about 9 days, I will be completely unemployed. Sucks. My friend suggested I go for a retail job because despite its low pay and thankless hardships, it would be steady with flexible hours which I will need come Fall semester.

I am tempted to agree. Though there was a couple of months awhile back when I tried applied to what I think was a gazillion retail stores, I didn't get a single reply. I think they see me as over-educated for those jobs, and that I'll bolt the minute something better comes along. And they're probably right, but hey, that's what everybody in retail does. Or at least what all the grunts do. I feel so desperate for money. I have to keep reminding myself that it is God who gives jobs and also takes them away. So, why God did you take this job away???

I also found out my neighborhood Kinko's is not open 24-hrs. Which means that I shouldn't be up typing this blog, but should be asleep so I can wake up early enough to go there before driving to school.

I'm looking at various tutor positions listed on monster.com, and they're not that pleasant. I'm half-tempted just to put up flyers at local korean markets. It's gotta be better than what's being offered out there.

I feel like such a girl.... (Umm... men, I think this is your cue to skip this entry. Well, actually, you could just skip the italicized section. J )

So tonight our family (extended) went out to celebrate my grandfather's birthday. He's 82 or 83. I forget which. Anyway, the restaurant was called Amazon Churrascaria, and boooy, it's a lot of meat! Basically, it's a buffet, but while you're at the table, waiters come by with skewers of meat (that was cooked over an open fire) and then cut you slices right there on the table. Soooo much food!

Anyway, there was this one really cute waiter there. He was Brazilian, with blond hair and a really great smile. And I really liked his accent. It sounded like a Mexican accent but more... smooth. I admit I flirted a bit (well, tried to, consider how terrible I am at it), and it was rather fun. Whenever he came around, I got whatever he was offering, 'til I was so full that I couldn't accept it anymore. Anyway, he taught me how to say "thank you." Munto obrigado. To which you reply, di nada.

It's weird, though, cuz awhile ago, I would have thought that he looked too old. (He seemed to be in his mid to late twenties.) But, well, perhaps as I have gotten older, my tastes have also gotten older? Even during college, I found younger-looking guys more attractive. Wow, I guess that means I'm getting older.


So during this family gathering, it got me thinking more and more about my default "baby-sitter" status that my aunts seemed to have given me. I think it was due to my actually having played with the kids not too long after I graduated from Cal. That and my willingness to baby-sit for pay. But the first time that was foisted on me (i.e. w/o my consent) was at my aunt's wedding last year. Because of that, I spent the second half of the wedding not being able to talk with other people, or watch people dance, or even watch whatever was going on. I found myself really resenting that. But like the wuss I am, I never spoke up. Instead, I did the cowardly approach and just avoided my aunts whenever I went to family gatherings. And whenever the kids were foisted on me, I just foisted them on someone else. I don't know if they get it yet, but lately, like tonight, they haven't foisted their kids on me.

My Aunt Min, the one w/ the 4-yr-old whom I helped out at his birthday party earlier this year, is most notorious. It's cuz her husband is working full-time and going to grad school part-time, so he's never home, and she's alone with the kid while she also works full-time. Whereas my Aunt Karen, who has a 3.5-yr-old and a 9-yr-old, has her husband, my grandparents, my Uncle Bruce and his wife, and their 14-yr-old kid, to help her out with the mothering duties. So Aunt Min tends to foist her kid off on me whenever we're together cuz I think she misses the adult company.

I wonder then, if I would make a good mother. I mean, playing with little kids is fun sometimes, and it's usually ok for a couple of hours at most, but I don't think I can do it for the entire day. It's just so hard. Once playing with them becomes less "watching them" and more "interacting with them" (like... after the age of 7), then I really enjoy their company. Or is that everybody's feelings? Is it weird of me to be a girl and not go ga-ga over babies? Does this mean that I shouldn't become a mother (someday later if I actually get married)? Maybe I'd feel differently if it's my own kid.

Anyway, I'm glad that at least at my sister's wedding, my bridesmaid duties prevent me from having kids foisted on me. I really enjoyed talking to my 20-yr-old cousin, Jessica. I can't believe she's a college sophomore. I remember when I first met her. She was just a toddler. And soon, I remember her whining to not go to pre-school. I used to play Barbies with her. And now... I almost didn't recognize her. I mean, her face is familiar, but not having spoken to her much in the past decade, it was weird to see her acting and talking like... a college kid. Wow. Now I really am old. (Speaking of which, without the presence of Jessica's sister Linda, and my own two siblings, I was the oldest kid at the dinner tonight. Weird.)

'kay, this went on long enough. Comments, please!