I feel like such a girl.... (Umm... men, I think this is your cue to skip this entry. Well, actually, you could just skip the italicized section. J )

So tonight our family (extended) went out to celebrate my grandfather's birthday. He's 82 or 83. I forget which. Anyway, the restaurant was called Amazon Churrascaria, and boooy, it's a lot of meat! Basically, it's a buffet, but while you're at the table, waiters come by with skewers of meat (that was cooked over an open fire) and then cut you slices right there on the table. Soooo much food!

Anyway, there was this one really cute waiter there. He was Brazilian, with blond hair and a really great smile. And I really liked his accent. It sounded like a Mexican accent but more... smooth. I admit I flirted a bit (well, tried to, consider how terrible I am at it), and it was rather fun. Whenever he came around, I got whatever he was offering, 'til I was so full that I couldn't accept it anymore. Anyway, he taught me how to say "thank you." Munto obrigado. To which you reply, di nada.

It's weird, though, cuz awhile ago, I would have thought that he looked too old. (He seemed to be in his mid to late twenties.) But, well, perhaps as I have gotten older, my tastes have also gotten older? Even during college, I found younger-looking guys more attractive. Wow, I guess that means I'm getting older.


So during this family gathering, it got me thinking more and more about my default "baby-sitter" status that my aunts seemed to have given me. I think it was due to my actually having played with the kids not too long after I graduated from Cal. That and my willingness to baby-sit for pay. But the first time that was foisted on me (i.e. w/o my consent) was at my aunt's wedding last year. Because of that, I spent the second half of the wedding not being able to talk with other people, or watch people dance, or even watch whatever was going on. I found myself really resenting that. But like the wuss I am, I never spoke up. Instead, I did the cowardly approach and just avoided my aunts whenever I went to family gatherings. And whenever the kids were foisted on me, I just foisted them on someone else. I don't know if they get it yet, but lately, like tonight, they haven't foisted their kids on me.

My Aunt Min, the one w/ the 4-yr-old whom I helped out at his birthday party earlier this year, is most notorious. It's cuz her husband is working full-time and going to grad school part-time, so he's never home, and she's alone with the kid while she also works full-time. Whereas my Aunt Karen, who has a 3.5-yr-old and a 9-yr-old, has her husband, my grandparents, my Uncle Bruce and his wife, and their 14-yr-old kid, to help her out with the mothering duties. So Aunt Min tends to foist her kid off on me whenever we're together cuz I think she misses the adult company.

I wonder then, if I would make a good mother. I mean, playing with little kids is fun sometimes, and it's usually ok for a couple of hours at most, but I don't think I can do it for the entire day. It's just so hard. Once playing with them becomes less "watching them" and more "interacting with them" (like... after the age of 7), then I really enjoy their company. Or is that everybody's feelings? Is it weird of me to be a girl and not go ga-ga over babies? Does this mean that I shouldn't become a mother (someday later if I actually get married)? Maybe I'd feel differently if it's my own kid.

Anyway, I'm glad that at least at my sister's wedding, my bridesmaid duties prevent me from having kids foisted on me. I really enjoyed talking to my 20-yr-old cousin, Jessica. I can't believe she's a college sophomore. I remember when I first met her. She was just a toddler. And soon, I remember her whining to not go to pre-school. I used to play Barbies with her. And now... I almost didn't recognize her. I mean, her face is familiar, but not having spoken to her much in the past decade, it was weird to see her acting and talking like... a college kid. Wow. Now I really am old. (Speaking of which, without the presence of Jessica's sister Linda, and my own two siblings, I was the oldest kid at the dinner tonight. Weird.)

'kay, this went on long enough. Comments, please!